“life will be better in spring”

December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 February 2012

I have to admit that I cannot handle stress well, For the past 2 major exams, I had been seeing the doctor. *Touch wood*. Once was during A2 where I got difficulties in breathing which worries me quite a lot and during Uni sem 1 exam where I went to clinic at 3 am. FOOD indigestion due to stress. AHAHA.

Crap. Digestion had been pretty bad lately. Once I ate McD for early dinner. I mean really early, 5 something almost 6. It feels like I had eaten it minutes back. and its sucks.

Env on tues and I am frigging out now. =/

...stressing out the whole darn morning for bio after a sleepless night the night before.

...got the bio paper. Tadaaa. @.@ Completely stunned.

...Felt super bloated + geram for literally no reason.

...Mum bought a lancome sunblock and got a whole lots bunch of lancome stuff. =D and needless to mention the amount of money spent

...Got a scarf.

...Lost my new pair of fresh opened lens. T.T

...Super stressed with the upcoming env.

The current me is like

"a rubber band stretched to the max, snapping off anytime if I am still stretching it further"

I think I blogged literally everyday. Aha. I don't know why, but then it feels good to express your stress and whatever rubbish into your blog.

At times, I do think of the silly things that happened back in pre-u. The moments where things may be completely different now.

Well, things may be good that it happened the way it was. What I can say is after this lesson. I start to stereotype on something. Something really bad. In fact, what I can say is, I learn a valuable lesson.

Off to thermodynamics. =)

Labels: My thoughts

Biology is almost done. Finally. ENV is still under progress. Sigh.

Workout on the treadmill for 45 mins today. Sweat like crazzie and stepped on the scale.

SHIT. I gained weight. I know its a typical dilemma for those who worked out and stuffs.

And my thigh muscles are sore. Sigh.

A big pimple popped out on my chin. Thanks to stress. =/

People are always skeptical about things like "how you get your good grades since you don't study and play most of the time?''. Hello. People won't tell you "hey I am going to study now and stuffs''.

If you ask me, I believe there are people who can do so but I am sadly not one of them. Being average as I always do. I definately couldn't stay up till midnight and having just a couple or 2 hours of sleep and go for exam the next day. Hell no. I would rather not familarize with some parts than sacrificing my sleep. Ahahah. And oh well, you may be just lucky not having that question out in the exam right?

I remember back in Inti days where the first day of A2 was a total killer and ultimate presure knowing that I have to score well in the 2 papers in order to bring up my frgging bio and maths. I made it for bio scoring A for the 2 papers and Having biology 4 and maths 1 on the same day is disastrous. I remember falling sick right after the exam and my head feels being fried up.

Second semester exam is just in a couple of days and I am still preparing for it. Sigh. Not a bad progress but I certainly need a break. Left 3-4 chaps on env and genetic part for bio. Chem started halfway and I am procastinating.

I decided not bring my laptop back this weekend to seremban to complete my remaining bio and environment chapters.

Till then. I need a nap. =)


Sometimes, think at the brighter side makes you feel that a change is ain't that bad afterall.

Study break? Its under progress. Not to say very good, but. acceptable. You can't expect me to face-textbook every single hour in my study break isn't it?

Sometimes, just follow the flow. Why get stressed up when you see others got stressed up? Its yourself anyway. You score and study for yourself and not for others.

Life is short. I may not be a bright student that scores HD all the time. But then I am who I am. Sometimes, jealously and 'kiasu' ness really bring you no where. =)

p/s: Not refering to anyone. As I say, my own thoughts.

Labels: Monash, My thoughts, studies

Just woke up from a 2-hour nap and I know 2 hours is more like a deep sleep rather than a nap. Gonna hug on to my coffee for the next whole month.

Back to my high school days, studies and idolisation don't go along well. Like really. But then back then, going to wherever my idol goes has been a norm. If you don't know who my idol is, its Nicholas Teo. I seldom mentioned it to people though. The years and years of support. Long story back then.

In fact, my uni friends were pretty shocked hearing that I was so into him back then and showed them the mv during karaoke left them shocked.

Why? Because it doesn't look like ME at all.

You will know why, after watching this MV. Spot me.

I gotta admit, I changed a lot since then. I guess the changes really started when I started wearing contact lens. I am a girl with glasses for like 9 years before I am able to persuade my parents to let me wear contacts for the first time? And I am loving it more than ever. It sort of changed my life. and when dad always ask me did I bring my glasses along to uni? Erm, no. The probability of my lens falling/torn into 2 is pretty low. Though it DID happened back in college. My lens actually torn into 2 for I don't know what reason and I ended up wearing contacts one sided and didn't bring my glasses.

I guess another phase in my life would happen if I am ever able to lose the extra baggages in me. Its hard and it has always been a struggle. Oh well.

The most annoying part ever is when you see your relatives every chinese new year and they were saying that 'ohhh, you grown bigger' when you did not. Heck.

Who the society always think that a girl who is tall and slightly curvy is intidimating? I didn't wear any 6-inch heels and I am in my regular shorts+top?

Stress is getting me tensed up. SHALL Study now orelse I will regret when the result is out.

Labels: Idol, Monash, studies

Sometimes I do ask, what the heck do I really want? What is my life leading me to? Why am I heck undecisive in the things I do?

Exam in like in 10 days time? and I am hogging to my laptop blogging at the moment and went for movie and enjoying food and sleep? Sigh. At times, I seriously don't really know.

Had been in a sort of self denial in how much calorie intake and self images and stuff. I don't know why, I sometimes ask myself, is it that hard to just accept the way I am? Big, tall and erm, BIG? This issue does bother me a lot, I don't mind being tall, But then I mind being large. Look intidimating beside people who are way slimmer than I am. I tried, but I failed most of the time.

Exams has been a really killer. It got me emotional at times for not being able to understand what the heck I am reading. Headaches visit me regularly and last time when one panadol can do its job, I need 2 or 3 now and the pain last for days.

Its hard. and blogging seems to be a task for me.

Watched Marley and Me in Star Movies today and cried at the end. Heck. I didn't expect myself to sob till that extend. Was really glad that I'm alone in the hall and there's only sis at home. Sometimes its just normal to show your emotions, but be it at the right thing.

Being 20 isn't that bad afterall. But mentally and physically mature? Maybe. I am already physically mature. Mentally too I guess. At times I just don't understand, why some people can be so immature regardless how old is she/he? Studies shows that guys get mature wayy later than girls, which I really do agree. So girls, get yourself a mature guy. Not someone where he have to depend on you and childishly get emotionally down for some silly things.

At times I do wonder, how big a gap should be? We always talked bout that in Uni. When we mentioned that 'ohh, we can accept a range between 5-15 years'. How true is it? We never know. When I was out today, I saw a middle aged man and a young pretty women sitting together facing each other having lunch. At the first glance, it sure does look like a father and daughter, but apparently they are couple. A at least 20 years gap is just wayy to big, unless he don't look like 20 years older than you, its a different case all together.

Leaping into year 2 doesn't mean I am getting old. I am just getting ready to face the world.

Back to books. =

Time would actually stop as it is now. I hate deadlines, assignments and exams.