“life will be better in spring”

December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 February 2012

After a not so great lecture in the car, stepped into Uni feeling pretty excited. Had a great laugh during lunch with the girls and still feeling excited before the Microbiology lecture.



Till then, all the happiness seemed to dissappear with all the freaky microbes name and calculations that are yet to be learned in microbiology and bioprocess technology.



Still need some time to adapt and I feel extremely dreadful. I feel like lying on my bed and sweet dreams all along. and it makes me feel like I am not doing the right thing. I can still have an enjoyable uni life by not taking courses that will literally kill your brain cells.

I guess I'll need time to adapt :).

Although I am still feeling super depressed.

Labels: PMS

I would describe it as bad as sitting corkscrew for the first time when you are not an adventurous person.

Seriously. I myself got freaked out how powerful cum scary mood swings are.

One moment where I can be super hyper for some scrumptious dim sum breakfast to super irritated to some moment where I can break into tears or I can actually have iced coffee for lunch and get java chip 3 hours later and threw my drink away when there's three quarter left because I can almost puke from too much of coffee.


or

one moment I can just wandering aimlessly in ikea with my parents that don't even pay attention with what am I saying. and we went out with nothing, except with a half-dozen of curry puff and a coke. or one moment you simply burst into tears fearing that you may end up living alone in an old lonely home. or fed up with ur parents never make an effort to remember you actually like some garlic with soy sauce and end up not touching them at all and only finished the rice with curry fish head gravy. and end up having a nice conversation with them on the way home in the car.


and end up at home and when you ask your parents for the invoice for the semester fees and your mum is screaming at you because you don't want to keep the invoice (this is because the previous sem she was screaming at you because you are keeping the invoice) and you end up sobbing.

I always wondered, why didn't I choose some place far so I can be independent? Or go into STPM so I can go into public uni and get a car so I can end up being a real uni student. I am not trying to mean that being in Monash is not a real uni life. For me, an ideal uni life is something that you can stay away from home and be independent. Not something like this. Maybe someday, if I'm rich enough, I will send my child overseas or else it would be going to STPM to experience how a 'genuine' uni life should be.

I realised that I sobbed myself to sleep almost once every month, its the second time now. Maybe the almost 4 month of summer break left me making lotsa wild imaginations because taking marketing is sort of relaxing minus the fact that the exam is on the 5th day of CNY. Other than that was perfectly fine. Maybe I shall wait till uni starts where everything's back to reality. With all the assignments kicking in and what you want is just a decent hours of sleep where 7 hours of sleep is considered a heaven.

Oh well, Uni life should be something to be cherished. I HOPE. I knew I would be grumbling why the heck I am taking this unit and stuffs later on.

and it certainly felt better after sobbing.

Labels: Monash, PMS

At times, things make you feel like you are a total epic failure.

and this make your life feel totally miserable.

Labels: PMS

She rolled and rolled around her bed, and she couldn't sleep. She turned on the tv and off it 5 minutes later.

While reminising what she did the whole day today, she suddenly burst into tears.

Why? No one knows, even herself would never know why. She just continue sobbing under her blanket till she needs some air and decided to blog.

She turns on her msn, screening through who can she talk with, ended up talking with an old friend of hers.

Emotional breakdown is pretty scary. and she expects to suffer from headaches and swollen eye the following morning.

and till then. Hopefully she can just shut her eye and get some sleep after days of reading her beloved textbook and finally finished the whole summer examination.

Labels: PMS

It doesn't feel that good when:

You're halfway studying and suddenly you start to day dream and those hoo-hahs fantasy starts to dance in your mind.

You need to concentrate and your body feels so disturbed by your 'best friend of the month'.

You want to snack on chocolates and feel all guilty about it after consuming.

You want to get something you had been longing and parents were saying that I am wasting money on unecessary things. Knowing that I am the one who spend the most amount of money in the family with my whooping fees every semester.

You're aiming for high grades, gets motivated fast, AND demotivated at the same pace.

Another 6 days to go. Just 6. Why does it feel freaking long? and it certainly feels like nothing been into my brain after days of trying to stuff in what I read from my 2 inch thick textbook :(

Labels: PMS

If you don't like your grades, work hard for it, orelse love it since grades somehow reflects your effort.

If you don't like spare tyres hugging around the waist, exercise and diet, orelse just accept the fact that you're chubby.

Regarding the second statement, I told myself countless times. I thought I went past that phase, but it seems that I am turning backwards.

P:S: PMS

Labels: PMS